not for the 99
People often ask me: ‘what are you?’ or ‘what do you believe in?’
I think people are more complex than any single label.
But if compelled to provide an answer; In relation to religion I would say that I am broadly atheistic.
In relation to science I would say that I am broadly agnostic.
But in relation to the Cross, I am a passionate - if utterly flawed - disciple.
What is my path through life?
I am trying, despite all the odds, despite my appalling weaknesses,
despite my fears and lack and doubt,
to take up my Cross and follow Jesus with every cell in my being;
daily, hourly, moment by moment
- by faith and blood and tears.
The whole world seems to be talking about lack of resources but if we were able to face painful reality it turns out that we don’t need a medical miracle as much as we need a spiritual one.
90% of diseases killing people in the West are preventable lifestyle conditions. And in India last year, for the first time more people died of obesity than hunger.
Amazingly, what is now most likely to instantaneously reverse the decline of our healthcare systems and quite literally heal our land is if people begin to value their health more than their need for comfort and pleasure.
We are lonely, empty and feel forgotten in a modern world that objectifies and then isolates us from all but our basest desires. And the result is that we will sacrifice our lives, millimetre by millimetre just in order to feel something other than aloneness.
Often, the more vulnerable we feel, the more we try to inflict control on the outside world - and the more that we position ourselves and others in absolute terms. We tend to demonise targets while elevating our own views in order to generate a story in which we ascend from being a confused and anxious person into a kind of avenging societal hero, in possession of the 'truth.'
In contrast, a healthy and value-led Self, is robust enough to hold in tension the endless complexity, nuance and paradox of the world.
Reality is endlessly humbling and unbearably heavy. It cannot be fully carried by any of us personally, and it is only in our recognition of this painful revelation, that we begin to approach wisdom.
There is nothing that can diminish us more than to become utterly preoccupied with all the good things we feel that we can do for God.
While God longs that we remain steadfastly focused on all the good that He has done for us.
What is the Bible?
It is a Living thing.. a Living, animate text.
Every time the Bible is opened, it becomes a Living portal; to Life or to Judgment.. to a Cross or to a Throne.. to humility and wonder - or to certainty and pride.
Because God is the Great author and designer, the Bible is written, structured and engineered in an extraordinarily astute way around the mechanism of living paradox.. and in particular, paradoxes that have been written and structured to expose the deep human nature and individual heart attitude of the reader and interpreter.
What this means is that in practice and throughout all of history, what the Bible has done, and continues to do.. is to expose the heart of a person through application.
If a human desires to live according to the Law and to use the text to be one who judges… then the Bible carefully affords them that possibility and they can use it to back their own certainty. God has designed the Word that way.
And in just the same way, if a person is determined not to judge and instead to attenuate all of their attitude towards personal responsibility and Grace; then the Bible carefully affords them that opportunity. God has designed it that way.
And He has done this so that the Bible - just as His Son was in Living incarnation - becomes an extraordinary revealer and discerner of human hearts.
Listen to a person for even a few moments as they speak about the Bible and you will be able to tell if the letter killeth, or if by the Spirit it brings Life through the responsive pride or the humility of the reader.
Whether the Word ‘drags’ them daily to a Cross; or is a means by which they build a throne to their own opinion and certainty.
When I hear someone claim to be ‘a Bible believing Christian’ I sometimes wonder how seriously they take the Bible at all. Because if one actually reads and truly believes and has experienced the power of the Spirit, one would never ever claim God’s word as a symbol of lifestyle or identity.
One would never dare.
Instead, to really believe and possess a Living faith in the word, one finds to both their simultaneous wonder and reverence, that it is actually the ultimate expose of one’s own heart before God.
And it is a great sword of limitless power, to bring Life or Death in the life of the one who reads and applies.
Because regardless of what one believes and one’s own attitude; all of us are already living our lives in the shadow of biblical truth whether we like it or not. The Grace that it offers and can be accepted freely by the humble; or the judgment that it metes out on the proud.
And that is just what God intended.
Humility can only ever be genuine in practice.
It is not so much an approach or orientation as it must be a mode of discipline.
The only true humility will manifest in habitual submission to the practise of constant deep accountability from trusted others outside of our family.
The humble soul will welcome diverse opinion, have no secrets, and will never be offended or embarrassed by criticism, because the rock on which we base identity is the Cross; and not our self-opinion and esteem.
Everything else renders us perpetually vulnerable to the numerous fragile self-delusions of ego that manifest in our feelings.
The world talks endlessly about a meaning crisis and entirely misdiagnoses our predicament - rendering the possibility of healing or genuine revelation impossible.
Indeed our hunger for more or newer meaning just reveals our abject covetous lostness; in a modern world, drowning in information and knowledge.
Our crisis is not one of meaning.
It is one of humility.
Our salvation and hope will only be found in a path away from speaking, posting, knowledge and the seeking of more meaning.
It is only prayer, fasting, quietness and humility that will draw us as individuals back toward the wisdom of conscience that is drowned out in the perpetual din of likes and subscribers that we so desperately seek as we prostitute our Spirits to the algorithm.
To paraphrase Meister Ekhart, ‘God is not found in the soul by adding anything’ even if it is the cleverest meaning making.
He is found in subtraction.
He waits quietly in the silence and the less.
And it is only when we turn away from our meaning making that we encounter His peace; that passes all understanding.
One thing that unites us as a species, is that we all share a profoundly human trait and orientation: that we just want to feel better about ourselves.
And because of this reality, the most powerful change that we can ever make in life to improve our potential, our relationships and our daily life is to with all of our heart; try to become the kind of person who decides to feel better about themselves when their weaknesses and delusions are exposed, as much as when we are comforted and praised.
Such a trait is astonishingly rare in humans. But no trait will afford us more wonder and beauty - and in fact, all other character traits combined cannot and will not bring more freedom and joy than this one incalculable gift.
It is this trait that releases our true potential in Jesus.. because it is the one that draws us closest to Him.
For He is humble and lowly in heart - and only in the sharing of this humility shall we find our burden becoming light.
In western culture, the success of others tends to induce a subtle kind of anxiety and even bitterness because the western mind can only receive the fortunes of others in relationship to how it makes them feel, how it reflects upon them and their self esteem.
But in a tribal communal culture, the success and joy of others is always shared. Another’s success is the communities success and every blessing is welcomed in a familial sense of celebration and joy
Regardless of what we believe about the world, if we are religiously minded we will divide the world and other people into two categories, good - which will be inevitably agreeing with us; and bad.. like any others - who aren't exactly like us and think in any different way.
But If we have transformative experiences and become spiritually minded, we will only divide our own heart into those two places.
Immediately, we recognise that the choice and the power is within - and that the fate of the whole universe flows through our decision to be constantly humble and curious, and to be aware of our own constant propensity for prideful delusion.
This is what it means to truly take up our Cross.
And if only we are willing to walk this narrow way, we will see miracle after miracle as the world opens up - not as a result of my rightness but as a result of Gods power made manifest in my vulnerability and humility and total dependence on Him.
When things go well and I'm fruitful and feel satisfied; God laughs heartily and says to the Angels: look what he thinks HE'S doing!
When things go badly and I lose faith God weeps over me and says to the Angels: 'look what he thinks I'M doing
Our biggest secrets are things that we have kept from ourselves.
The modern mind sees nature as something to be conquered and consumed; and yet we remain in discontent. Our restless hunger is never quenched; indeed the more we take from the world, the more it grows.
We succeed, subdue, mine and gather - and yet we are never full.
But in contrast, the ancient mind deep within our memory is wise and humble. It's experience whispers to us to quietly watch; to listen and to hear... and so comprehend that our future depends entirely on a relationship of reciprocity with our environment, in which we are never a master - but a child.
Only in this way of Ancient thinking; may we inherit the eternal joyhood of youth.
Religion vs Faith
Religion is something to teach,
Faith is something to experience
Religion is always second hand,
Faith is always first hand
Religion is based on certainty,
Faith is based on humility
Religion looks to teach,
Faith seeks to learn
Religion is based on pride,
Faith is based on vulnerability
Religion highlights failures,
Faith protects weaknesses
Religion draws lines and divides,
Faith strives for unity
Religion requires constant repetition,
Faith requires constant reflection
Religion elevates me daily,
Faith challenges me daily
Religion daily hardens,
Faith daily softens
Religion is rigid,
Faith is flexible
Religion compels my control,
Faith requires my surrender
Religion requires me to hold on,
Faith moves me to let go
Religion leads me into judgment,
Faith draws me into Grace
Religion is impatient,
Faith is long-suffering
Religion inhabits my being,
Faith transcends my being
Religion drives me,
Faith draws me
Religion weighs heavy upon me,
Faith bears me up and lifts me
Religion scares me into submission,
Faith inspires me into change
Religion fills me with fear,
Faith fills me with love
Religion is compliance,
Faith is relationship
Religion is an ego,
Faith is a Cross
Religion is what I must fight;
Faith is my weapon and my Victory
The Bible is a much better map than it is a rule book. It is meant to be applied more than it is meant to be preached.
If you want to live the adventure of the ‘New Life’ of Acts, the only way is if you are out in the hazardous and beautiful land of life - trekking onwards, forwards and upwards.
Both good and bad weather will come; and at times you will need to stop - to rest and to find shelter. The Lord will provide. You must never rush the journey. He will set the pace. Never allow yourself to be rushed.
Your conscience must be your compass, and the renewal of your energy to keep on the journey will be directly proportionate to your daily discipline.
The fruit that you see on your way will be equal to the depth of your gratefulness. You will find that either you can use your ministry to build people up, or that you will be using people to build up your ministry. Be very careful.
Most important of all:
You must only move in the great shadow of the Cross. It must be before you and behind you at all times. However good the path appears ahead, if it draws you from the shadow of the Cross you are in mortal danger - both to yourself and to all around you; whether you know it or not.
The mountains ahead of you, the ground beneath your feet and the glorious sky above your head, are Jesus. Keep looking upward, downward and to the horizon, and remember from whence you have been lifted.
Your people wait for you, they cheer and call you onward.
Go in peace.
There is so very much to be grateful for. Comparative to so many people we are so rich and blessed. Materially, in terms of choices and opportunities, we have more than any other generation or people in human history or geography. We have no reason to be ungrateful other than covetousness and delusion.
The biggest challenge of all is to be increasingly aware of our thoughts and notice the feelings that flow from them for which we are responsible and which we can, to a very great extent, control with awareness and humility. Let us be willing to gradually; little by little; one thought and word and action at a time; think and act in a way that is Godly.
One thing that is almost immeasurably toxic for your spiritual wellness and growth, is to spend time around people who are not aware of and do not readily acknowledge and talk consistently and openly about their own dark side; those without any embodied humility.
The healthiest and greatest blessing of all that one can experience in this human family, is to be mentored, challenged and encouraged by those who live daily in the revelation of their own paradoxical nature and acknowledge that they daily need both the forgiveness of a Cross and yet to also be striving towards obedience.
If you have a parent or mentor who constantly both exemplifies and challenges you to live in the tension between ongoing knowledge of one’s own failings and weakness and yet the striving towards growth and obedience to conscience, you have the greatest human blessing known to our infant mankind.
As I have travelled widely these last few years, I have noticed certain things about my thoughts and emotions that have struck me.
As soon as I return to my own country, so very quickly, my mind experiences a peculiar sense and change.
In my culture and society, it seems that the over-riding factor in my mind becomes my own opinion, my viewpoint.
I am absolutely expected to possess some way of thinking that posits the world and other people in a particular light of which I should feel certain.
Inevitably, in the hierarchy of my opinion, my own view and my tribe emerges pre-eminent.
Interestingly, the consequences of this bring about 2 psychological outcomes within me.. elements that I also notice strongly in others when I return home.
The first is that I tend to feel a growing sense of lack, of dissatisfaction with the world and with myself; with me and how things are. I quickly experience myself become covetous of and desiring that which I do not have and a huge amount of my thinking about the world and about me can become speedily preoccupied with this sense of me and my life not being enough. Because my opinion overrides all else, the consequences are always that I am left feeling that I need something that I do not possess to bring me peace and contentment.
Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, when my own opinion is pre-eminent, it seems that my feelings tend to have huge power over me. I start to experience many more emotions about myself; and whenever I find myself not in complete control, they are likely to be towards anxiety, anger or negative emotion.
If I am not careful I so quickly become controlled by what I feel about myself.
I have noticed that in other parts of the world where people have so much less, and are connected to nature and to one another - and live more closely in community; this pattern seems to be very different.
People seem to be much more oriented around curiosity, humility and just being present. Their own opinion rarely seems to be expressed or even considered and this seems to free them from these two orientations that I often feel in myself when I return home.
I have begun to wonder why we so rarely consider, in our wildly individualistic culture; that the cost of our certainty and strong personal opinions and me-centric thought processes might be our peace of mind and contentment.
Jesus invites us daily, hourly, moment by moment to give to Him the huge weight of Self. And instead, second by second, to take on His burden - which is light.
It is light He says…
…because He is humble.
In our modern enlightened times of absolute religious certainty in our own view, I wonder if this utterly overlooked part of the Gospel, might hold more power than we can possibly imagine to bring us daily peace, strength and union with His Spirit.